I love personal growth. But it’s tough to grow alone. Very, very tough. And life is short. So it makes sense to do it with the support of others. Especially if you intend to achieve a lot in your lifetime. So feel free to use me as your behavior change partner.
Most people call this kind of support person a coach. But that term connotes a hierarchical relationship, so I generally use the word partner.
It’s a privilege and a responsibility for me that I don’t take lightly.
I’ve been helping people 1-on-1 since I was 13. When I was young the desire was present, but the skill and knowledge to effectively do so were not. Through long, difficult experience working with people who were suffering (depression, suicidal ideation, schizophrenia, anxiety, deep procrastination, lack of self-confidence, etc.) and those who just wanted to improve their painfully static status quo I learned the mechanics of helping people grow. Coincidentally, my twin sister became a counselor. It runs in the family
This is my philosophy for working together:
- You are in charge–I support you (very actively if you wish)
- Focus on continually taking “strategic, disciplined action”
- Focus on action (behavioral side) and awareness (emotional, cognitive, and perceptual sides)
- I try to stay pragmatic, positive, earnestly engaged, and non-judgmental (when possible, humor makes the sessions more fun)
- Integrity is everything
- Discomfort is part of the process–you grow the fastest when you face your fears and shadow (this kicks in only when/if you’re ready)
- I practice evidence-based coaching, or a “collaborative, solution-focused, results-oriented and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of life experience and goal attainment in an individual’s personal and/or professional life.” (Grant, 2003)
- I draw heavily from a wide variety of research and some from my 12+ years of experience explicitly working on my own personal growth
- I’m influenced most by Fogg’s Behavioral Model, the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change, and Positive Activity Interventions (PAIs)
- Results are primarily a function of how deeply you invest in your change (I can help some with motivation, but ultimately you must do the work)
The intake session will usually be over the phone and will focus on the purpose and operational details of our work together. At that point we both are just trying to determine fit. I will gently redirect you to another avenue for support if I don’t see it.
After agreeing on the terms of the working relationship, we usually start over the phone or video chat once a week, biweekly, or monthly. Or we can work in person, generally out of your favorite coffee shop.
If you’re interested, we could do an intensive one or two day engagement where I work side by side with you to “catch up on life” (e.g., knock your email down to zero, organize your office, create your workflow rituals, (re)start your exercise habit, get healthy food in your fridge, etc.). Those sessions are a lot of fun and the results are immediate and obvious. I’ve designed and empirically tested a structured day around this concept, which I call Get Stuff Done (GSD) Days.
My background is primarily in purpose, productivity, happiness, emotional intelligence, and dating/relationships.
What You Will Do
- Think deeply (analytic approach)
- Feel deeply (emotional approach)
- Take action (baby steps at first, then significant action when you are ready)
- Articulate your thoughts, feelings, actions, and perceptions through different modes: verbally, through writing, through art, and through psychological instruments
I’m certified with an emotional intelligence (EQ) framework from the world’s largest organization for emotional intelligence, Six Seconds. Alongside the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and the Five Factor Model (OCEAN), I also use an instrument from Six Seconds called the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI) that measures your EQ and predicts 54% of your success factors in life. It’s been used by 27,000 people around the world. EQ is fortunately very teachable–essentially anyone willing to improve their EQ can. I also use a large selection of instruments and exercises that I personally designed, some of which were inspired by the 100+ books on the field that I’ve absorbed.
I keep my rates reasonable and use a sliding scale. My objective is to make myself obsolete to you as soon as possible. I want your growth, not your money.
This is a financial investment in your life that will hopefully have a high ROI. I can help you calculate that on a regular basis to ensure it remains positive for you. If it starts to dip, we can respectfully part ways.
Also take a look at my company, Self Spark. Our offerings might be a better fit for you.